shutting out the madness

Do the thoughts in your mind fly so fast that you quickly forget what you were even thinking about? It's kind of like walking into a room and forgetting why you walked in there (which happens to me at least once a day). I have a hundred things on my mind at once, just orbiting around, focusing into thought and then back out.

I'm jealous of those who can honest to goodness meditate. How on earth do you possibly stop all stream of consciousness and clear your mind? It's impossible. For me, at least. What I wouldn't give to just stop thinking. To be able to narrow it down to one thing at a time. I guess that would make me an ape or something though, right? Lesser than an ape, even.

What I have learned to do, however, is narrow my focus. When I think about God, some of the noise lessens. If I concentrate on Him, I am rewarded with little treasures - little nuggets of precious thought, or at least thoughts that I wouldn't have otherwise given real attention to. A sweet memory, a "light bulb moment," or rational reasoning (for once). I have a couple examples.

• My husband and I looked at a house in our neighborhood last week. It presented an exciting opportunity and, of course, I was a little giddy at the thought of moving out of this cracker box we call home. I was optimistic about it for a day or two, but then had a moment of enlightment. It was a moment when my mind was turned to God (see "do you ever have a song in your heart" to learn how I best connect with Him) and for a moment, all thoughts did cease and He said (not literally - duh!), "that house is too close to the sketchy activity on the corner that you worry about." A ha. Yes, Lord, so it is. The lil' thugs on the corner would have much easier access to my home and children if we lived there. I think I'll stay right where I am ... the cozy cracker box in the cul-de-sac (or "cuddle sack" as my mother-in-law says).
• Creating something relaxes me. Be it writing, painting, shooting the camera, or knitting, I can feel the stress release its hold if I'm in a creative mode. Last night I thought, "I wonder if that paint-your-own-pottery place has an annual membership or some other offer to knock off the $8/piece studio fee." Today I received an email from that SAME PAINT-YOUR-OWN POTTERY PLACE that said, "Come paint today! No studio fee from 5 til closing!" What. Do. You. Know.

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But that's where my story stops because my husband was late getting home and I didn't get to go paint. So here I am, utilizing my other creative outlet. Letting ... go ... of ... the ... stress ...