let the 'bah humbug' begin

Does the stress of the Christmas season weigh heavily on you? It does on me. That and the shorter days and cold weather. I'm a sunshine girl and so blah winter doesn't suit me well.

It's barely November and I'm already trying to keep "the holidays" at arms length. Don't get me wrong, I adore shopping for everyone and even decorating. I'm a giver if there ever was one. I love the smells of Christmas and of course the feasting of Thanksgiving (can ya tell?), but for whatever reason, the stress of family pulls me down before I can even get going.

Living away from our families is a disadvantage during this season. Because no one sees us on a regular basis, they all want more of us in these next 52 days. Tough business there. This is where my selfishness shines brightest, I'm ashamed to say. For the same reasons they want to see us, I don't want to be seen: my kids are little once and I want these holiday moments alone with them while I can. Yep, shame on me. I know. One day it will haunt me and I'll be the furious grandmother.

So how do you handle this stress? Do you even feel stressed at this time of year? Sound off! I wanna hear it!

Click here for information on Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), a common form of depression that heightens in the winter months.

comfort

Stressed and in need of "me" time? I am. But today, this one day of the week, I am able to slip away for an hour and do whatever I want to do.

My daughter's perfecting her plié, my son is in his father's care, and I am perched alongside a window at Barnes & Noble taking advantage of free wi-fi, a less-than-$2 cup of coffee, and uninterrupted me time.

Women (moms, especially) are caretakers. We make sure everyone has clean clothes, hot meals, the best of what's offered. We take the leftovers. The meal that needs to be microwaved to warm it again, almost-warm showers, the last moments of the day.

It's not a complaint, it's a real observation. We give much and honestly, ask little in return. That depends on who you talk to, of  course. Children hear us asking for a great deal more than they're willing to give. Husbands, too, for that matter.

At any rate, I'm taking this moment to regroup and give myself a mental break. No little one to chase, no big one to correct and quiet, and no big-big one to complain to. Just me, the laptop, a cup of coffee, and Jesus.

You can turn to him, too, and he will give you rest.

"My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." - Exodus 33:14

learning as i go

As a follow-up to my very personal admission the other day, I have been seriously downing some water (4 to 6 litres each day), which in turn has kicked my caffeine out of the way. I've had a 20 oz. coffee each morning, another jolt at lunch, and that's pretty much it. No extra snacking (not that I did that much anyway), and I've been smarter about my meal choices.

Sadly, Billy and I have not connected in the past few days. Yes, my priorities are mixed up. There has been good TV on at night and so I've avoided turning on the DVD player.

Today was not a good day for me, however. I worked from home and that makes snacking a much more convenient temptation. Between my son bringing me Easter candy from his basket and spotting a nearby can of peanuts, I feel like I ate all day long. I'm glad for it, as strange as that sounds, because now I'm miserable. That reinforces the need and desire to cut back. It's a good reminder not to behave tomorrow as I did today.

Learning as I go,
Casey

Image: Ice Water. 4/9/10 from my 365 project.

i'm about to tell you something

... something personal. Deeply personal. If you're close to me, it's nothing you don't already know. For the rest, I'm coming clean, and I'm asking all of you for help.

I love food. Just getting a taste of something isn't enough for me. If it's something that I enjoy, I want to eat as much of it as I possibly can. That's a gross thought, I know. It's gross for me to think about and even tell you about. So why am I?

I'm past the point of being disgusted with myself. "So exercise!," you say. Easier said than done. Not to make excuses, although they are valid, I have a 20 minute commute to work, sit at a desk for eight hours, go home, consider cooking dinner and inevitably end up going a microwave, oven (and I mean dinner-in-a-box), or order-out route. I help my daughter with her homework and try to keep my son occupied away from her so that she can actually work. Their bed time is 8:30, but most nights they're 9 or 9:15 actually making it to bed. By the time they're in bed, I'm absolutely exhausted and can barely keep my eyes open. So there. No time for exercise.

"So make wiser food choices!," you say. Ah. That's perhaps my biggest problem of all. I just can't seem to. I don't want to point a finger at my family and say I was raised on good Southern food (y'all know that equals lots of butter and grease, right?), but that's not exactly true, except on holidays. Which I live(d) for. Stuffing, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese ... and NOT in moderation. Not to change the subject, but my husband has a problem with this, too, and often creates a bad food environment because of it. He can make the most awesome macaroni and cheese you could ever have in your life. I'm talking like two pounds of cheese!

Back to the point, my mom didn't cook poorly (like I do when I cook), but we ate out a lot. We were a busy family just like my own family is now. And we enjoyed eating out. And we ordered the awful stuff that we didn't really know was awful ... like Chili's Buffalo Chicken Ranch Sandwich recently shown on the Today Show to be the worst (health-wise, but tastes real good!) chicken sandwich. I'd rather not tell you how many times I've eaten that sandwich now that I know it "has as many calories as in 7 scoops of Haagen-Dazs Five Vanilla Bean ice cream."

I don't believe there is a "fat gene". I do believe we all have vastly different metabolism rates, and I've figured out that mine is slow. I've read that one can increase their metabolism; apparently I need to re-read how that's done. I have little to no will-power. Luckily, I don't have much of a sweet tooth, and I do like water. Those are certainly pluses.

As I'm making this a public confession for the first time ever, I think I can set some goals and actually have a chance of sticking to them. Some of you will no doubt enjoy holding me accountable!

Working Towards a Healthy Lifestyle
I solemnly vow to myself to do the following:
1. Limit caffeine beverages to no more than one 16 oz. serving per day.
2. Park my car farther away from the elevator in the parking deck.
3. Begin taking the stairs from the parking deck to the lobby.
4. Include at least one fruit and one vegetable with dinner each night.
5. Opt for cereal instead of a breakfast sandwich (or leftover pizza) each morning.
6. Keep a glass of water at my desk to sip on throughout the day.
7. Go for a walk with the kids at least three nights each week.
8. Pop that Billy Blanks DVD in again, and actually do the tae bo at least three times each week.
9. Look in the mirror more often to be disgusted and keep up the motivation.
10. Find a way to get buy-in from my husband (aka getting him to eat healthier, too).

Can I get some support? Anyone want to be an accountability partner? I've put this out here for the world to see, so won't some of you promise to check up on me and remind me of how ashamed I am of my appearance at this moment? I need you.

Image Courtesy http://www.southernplate.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/baked-macaroni-and-cheese.jpg.