did you notice?

You might have noticed that I seriously dropped the ball on my 60 days of blogging. *sigh* I just couldn't keep up with it everyday. It's truly a large task for a full-time, hard working lady like myself. But I digress.

In my absence, I've had many moments when I wanted to write and had plenty on my mind. However, what's on my mind doesn't always have to come out through my keystrokes. I don't know if anyone wise has said something similar, but I'm pretty sure heeding said advice probably saved my tush a time or two, or at least saved some folks a day of heartache.

Courtesy http://donhall.blogspot.com/

Notes from the past 45 days (give or take) include ...

• I am not a fixer. As much as I try to live my life in a Godly way, I can't make other people live His way.
• I am not perfect. Well ... this one wasn't just realized, but I thought I'd mention it, given the "Godly" reference above. I slip, I ask for forgiveness, and I try again. Aren't you glad for The Cross?
• As hard as I try to be accepted by some, my attempts fail. Miserably. You might ask why I need acceptance. Generally, I don't seek it much. Those days are falling farther into my past, including the recent past ... like just five days ago in the past. It's not like I'm trying to change who I am in order to be accepted, it's that I continually try to explain myself. I'm rather tired of that. It's like talking to a wall and I'm done with it.
• God is good all the time, and I mean all the time. In the tough spots, He is good. In the embarrassing spots, He is good. In those moments where we lack understanding, He is good. God is in everything and everything is in God. Though we might not be friends, God has a plan. When you get old, I anticipate that I'll be caring for you. I may not like it, but for me to love God, I must love people. And that includes you.
• New friends can yield a lot of love. Especially like-minded Christian friends who pray passionately with and for you. Try it sometime.
• My children are growing too quickly physically, but perfectly in God. For example, my son, who will be four in ... wow, three short weeks, caught me by surprise the other day when we had this quick exchange.
  Me: "You're getting so tall! I think you got those long legs from your Daddy."
  Him: "No I didn't!"
  Me: "Well where did you get them from?"
  Him: "God gave them to me."
•  My daughter is me. This realization requires a lot of patience and prayer. And not even an ounce of gratitude for my mother, who wished her on me. Ha! (Thanks mama! You know I wouldn't trade that child for all the world.) And good luck world. She's a firecracker.

So there are my random thoughts for now. Time to throw a hot dog on the grill and enjoy the rest of my Sunday. Y'all go enjoy it, too.

Much Love,

tgif

Who do you live for? Or, maybe the question is better asked, what do you live for?

Friday.
My spouse.
My kids.
The next paycheck.

We all have a master. You may not think of it that way, but I challenge you to argue it. Whatever it is that you live for - whoever - that is your master.

What should be your master? God. He's a loving Father, a generous Provider, and our only Salvation. If you're going to dump all of your time into something - a hobby, a person, etc. - make sure it's in a way that glorifies God and would be pleasing to Him.

Rather than "Thank God It's Friday," why not, "Thank God I'm Forgiven"?

Loving you because He first loved me,

Gettin' Her Groove Back: 17/60

new devotions

I might fall off the blog radar a little more, but will try not to. I'm about to embark on some devotional writing. It's time to get serious and I've been approached to do more of it. God opens doors for me to improve and share, so I need to walk through them.

Taking on these extra initiatives in addition to my job and home life will be a stretch. But isn't that what God does? He stretches us to our potential.

Be praying for me,

Gettin' Her Groove Back: 16/60

my missing reader | my legacy

We all have that one person we wish would pay attention to us a little more. Who is that one person you'd like to capture and intrigue?



Courtesy WomenInTheBible.net

 Maybe it's unrealistic or unfair, but I get bummed when I think about the way I sometimes spill my guts here in my very public journal and know that my husband never sees it. Sure, he knows I blog, but he has no desire to read what I write. To his credit, he gets to listen to my mouth, so why willingly subject himself to my thoughts on a screen, too?

Probably 95% of the content on this blog has not been verbalized from my mouth. These are my thoughts, my heart in words. To know that my husband is not clued in is sometimes painful. I see this blog as an extension of myself. It's something that my children will be able to access in the days, weeks, and years after my life is done. They will be able to see a different realness of their mom that they may not have otherwise seen.

Everyone wants to leave a legacy. What will mine be?

I want to be known for my creativity, my heart for others, my passion for raising the best children I have the ability to raise, my unending dedication to my marriage, my fun-loving side that my colleagues get to enjoy (*smile*), and my drive to be more and do more every single day.

I want to see the day that my kids realize that they can have their own special moments - the kind that only a brother and sister can experience. The kind my brother and I have, where we can simply flash each other a look that says it all while never uttering a word from our mouths. I want my husband to never have a doubt about my faithfulness to him - to know that our vows before God have never and will never be broken. 'Til death do us part, babe.

Consider the things you want to instill in the next generation and the way you want to be remembered. Then set out to make your desired legacy a truth for those around you.

Gettin' Her Groove Back: 15/60

give time

I was blessed to spend time with my parents today. We invited them to visit so we could honor my mom for her birthday. It was a relaxing day free of schedules and pressures (for some of us anyway; James was working at church most of the day).

The kids entertained and we caught up on the events of days that have been slipping past way too fast. It was an easy day. Simple conversation. Warm, fuzzy love.

At least twice my daddy thanked me for my time today. For allowing them into my normally busy Saturday. I was humbled. Their Saturdays are just as busy as mine, and besides, have I kept them at arms' length? If so, it hasn't been intentional. It's just the pace right now.

If you're reading, Daddy and Mama, I love you, and you're welcome to enjoy any Saturday with me that you ever desire.

Happy Birthday, Mama!

Gettin' Her Groove Back: 14/60

it was inevitable

I finally missed a day of blogging. My apologies. Yesterday was gruesome and I was too exhausted to muster up a simple thought worthy of a blog entry.

Things are always fast and furious at work, but it's especially so now. We're in the midst of a major website overhaul - brand new content management system, migration of content and data, and of course a fancy new face. Be on the look-out for a brand new Virginia.org in April. :) It will be SO worth the sweat and near-tears that our team of four is experiencing right now.

In the mean time, I'll continue to blog and Facebook for Virginia is for Lovers (the regular duties don't stop just because there's a big project, ya know). Have a question about traveling in Virginia? Want to see our take on a particular destination? Simply leave me a comment here and I'll be happy to write something just for you over on our VIFL blog!

Retiring for the night,

Gettin' Her Groove Back: 13/60

who's your mama?

It just dawned on me that the answer to the age-old security question, "What's your mother's maiden name?" is not very hard to figure out in the age of social media.

Facebook makes it easy to find long-lost classmates by allowing users to enter a maiden name. As a user, you can choose* if you'd like that name displayed on your profile.

Though you may have locked down your profile to be seen by friends only, your name is still displayed and can surface in search engine results.

Besides, who's mama isn't on Facebook at this point? And how many women are hyphenating their name now? It will be a much more insecure world for our children than it is for us.

My suggestion is to choose a harder security question for those accounts that need serious protection. Perhaps, "What date did you lose your first tooth?"

Just something to think about.

*To change your name display settings on Facebook, click Account > Account Settings. See User Name? Click "change" off to the right. If you previously included your maiden name in the Alternate Name field, delete it. Click "Change Alternate Name" to save the form. Do go back into that screen to make sure it's gone.

Gettin' Her Groove Back: 12/60

i'd hate to miss a day ...

... but I'm tired tonight and don't really have anything in mind to write about.

I was driving to get my daughter from school earlier today and thought, "maybe I'll write about a mother's lamentations." That sounds awful though. "What a 'Debbie Downer'," I can already hear my friend Jane saying. So, no mother's lamentations.

Or wife's.

Valentine's Day is Monday and though I've been prepped to not expect a single iota, I manage to get my hopes up. Why is that? Why do I always think he's just messing with me and will have this great surprise? So not him. Get over it, girl.

Gettin' Her Groove Back: 11/60

call korie!

My Kids, by Korie Nordstrom Photography, 2010

I was thrilled to spend some time tonight with my fantastic photographer friend, Korie Nordstrom, who was recently featured with Macaroni Kids Richmond for a Valentine's Giveaway. If you're looking for exclusive boutique images, check her out (and tell her I sent you so she'll give me something good!).

Seriously though, do take a look at her work. Korie specializes in newborn portraiture but also captures great senior images, too. I love the vibrant hues of her senior work and the diversity she demonstrates across other subjects. For example, Korie's newborn portraiture is perfectly, softly illuminated. You wouldn't be disappointed if you were to call on her. I promise!

Gettin' Her Groove Back: 10/60

a new southside small group

Southside folks, James and I are opening our home for a small group to meet on Tuesday nights at 6:30 p.m. beginning February 15. Rolf & Deb Kleinfeld, our very own husband-wife missionary team, will be leading the group - very exciting indeed!


Courtesy
http://www.hem-of-his-garment-bible-study.org/

 
We do have childcare lined up and would like to collect an offering of appreciation each week to present to our teen volunteer. Maybe a couple of bucks per kid? She has a genuine heart for children and will be a great leader for ours.

Regarding the study content, Deb said she believes we will be studying 1 Peter. To my knowledge, no special study materials are required, just your Bible and something to take notes with.

If you're interested in attending, email me at jccjhiggins@gmail.com or connect with me through Facebook.

For Him,

Gettin' Her Groove Back: 9/60

home: an ongoing project

We moved into our new home in July. Since then we've painted three bedrooms, a living room, a family room, and an office. We have completely remodeled two full bathrooms and upgraded our kitchen cabinets, too. Today we finally decided on a paint color for the kitchen and let the brushes fly.

It will need another coat yet, but so far we're pleased with our selection. We also came closer to choosing our backsplash, too, but aren't quite ready to move forward with it yet. Still on the list of to-dos: flooring and lighting. Just gettin' on with it, day by day ...

Stay tuned,

Gettin' Her Groove Back: 8/60

i'm a helicopter mom

There's no more denying it, I'm a helicopter mom.

Courtesy The POWerful Word

I don't think that's true in the way Wikipedia describes it - hovering over all things school related - but it is true with regard to losing control of the welfare of my children.

Annnnddd queue the emails.

Yep, control freak. That's me, when it comes to my kids. To say that I don't trust other people might be a little too harsh of a statement. I think it's really that I would rather be the one responsible for the car accident they may be in. I'd rather be the one cleaning up their puke when they're sick. I'm their mom and being responsible for them is my job.

This itch to manage doesn't overtake me until they're gone overnight out-of-town, such as they are this weekend. I trust their grandparents and know they are perfectly safe, however, if something happens while I'm two and a half hours away, I'm. Gonna. Freak. Out.

So now I've shown you not only that I am a controlling helicopter parent, but also that I am a pessimist who is just waiting for THAT phone call. Whew. It's stressful to be me.

Gettin' Her Groove Back: 7/60

all men were created equal

God made man. He didn't make any color of man better than another. He created them equally. Man. Woman. Period.

Thanks to sin in the world, some men have taken dominion over other men. This is not unique to the United States and African-American slavery. Do recall Hitler and his problem with Jews and various other countries plagued with genocide.

Courtesy United Colors of Benetton

Amazingly, this world is still populated with people who want to have power over another group of people. In a free, democratic country such as the United States, this is ludicrous.

I'm a girl who was raised in the South but guess what! That doesn't define me. I'm not a redneck, honky, confederate or rebel. Open your MINDS, people! See that we all bleed red. Understand that God created you just the same way he created the black, yellow, orange, brown, and white people around you. Once you understand that we only move forward by recognizing and vowing not to repeat the past, you should then ask God to forgive your ignorance and judgement of others.

Earlier today I wrote a blog post for another site I contribute to. I titled it "Celebrate Black History" and I meant it. It received some criticism. You know, every race of people has a troubling history, yet it's from that history that we rise to what we are today. Why not celebrate black history?

Blacks received their freedom by order of Abraham Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation, delivered January 1, 1863. Blacks received the right to vote when the 15th Amendment to the United States Constitution was ratified February 3, 1870. Blacks were granted equality in education under the May 17, 1954 decision of Brown v. Board of Education. Blacks' rights became protected with the Civil Rights Act of 1964, enabling equal employment.

Why not celebrate? All of these rights were God-given and then taken away by man. How dare any of us look down upon another. We should all be as proud as those who rose from ashes and knocked down walls to make an equal way for children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Please, let's get over prejudice. In the not-too-distant future, Caucasians will be the minority. White folk, you don't want these tables turned on you. It's high-time we recall the Golden Rule - do unto others as you would have them do unto you - lest you want to be on the receiving end of ill-will.

"Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list."
~Dennis Leary

Gettin' Her Groove Back: 6/60

the quiet of us

Sometimes it's nice to just be together - quietly.

James and I took the kids to their Wednesday night church fun and then we skipped out. Gino's Pizza is a laid back joint where we fit in well with our jeans and sweatshirts. Tonight, dinner was less about the destination and more about the quiet.

I've written about time depravity and how it's hard to have time for anything extra in life. Today I got lucky. I worked from home. Without the commute, we were all together by 5 p.m. We knocked out homework and the kids had their dinner before church. I could not let the chance for a calm 90-minute breather with my husband pass me by.

Our conversation was sporadic. We settled into our booth, he with some freebie paper and me with my Blackberry. After we got our vices out of our system, we talked about work. First his, and how he can't find a reliable plumber. The most recent installed a water heater for my boss (of all people) and now it's leaking. Then me, with the ever-growing list of projects that will keep me leashed to my desk until May 1st. And then we ate.

I've experienced strange silences with my husband from time to time. It's odd to be two, no more often than it happens. Typical dinners include kids bickering and finicky appetites, so when that's gone, there is an unusual silence that we feel we must fill. Tonight I let that go. The mix of silence with simple, casual conversation was freeing. Nothing too deep for tired minds.

Putting this zonked noggin' to bed,

Gettin' Her Groove Back: 5/60

make time stop

There are seasons of life. I guess I'm in the season that's typical for a married, working mom.

Courtesy

http://www.womenwindow.net/

• Forty-hour weeks
• Three hours of family time each night - spent doing homework and bathing
• Weekends playing catch-up on housework instead of family fun
• Fast-food or delivery to avoid 8 p.m. dinners

 It's a routine rooted in demands and expectations. There isn't any wiggle room.

How is it that the impressionable years of our children coincide with the furor of building a career? It's not fair, to be blunt (and whiny). Do we not have to work to provide? We can't very well put it off until later, lest we sacrifice their college education and a roof over their head. Yet while we're making the way for their future, we're missing out on their today. Our today. It's all very painful right now.

I must be PMSing ...

Gettin' Her Groove Back: 4/60

international compassion

Since you can obviously see the title before reading the contents of this post, let me steer your opinion back. Yes, I know there are people in the United States who are very much in need, but they're not nearly as needy as the rest of the world. Let me explain.

In addition to preaching about the path to heaven, as I wrote about yesterday, my Pastor preached Sunday about how rich Americans are. Not to steal his sermon, but just to share with you ... Americans are the richest people in the world - "richer than nearly 70% of other people in the world."

You're not as rich as your neighbor, but you're probably richer than your parents, who are richer than their parents. The girl you work with drives a nicer car than you do, but hey, at least you have transportation. Oh. You take advantage of public transportation, you say? Then you no doubt have shoes on your feet so you can walk in the cold to the bus stop. Consider the people in other countries who don't have shoes. The ones who have no job to walk to or a bus coming along to take them anywhere. The ones who have no means of providing for their family because where they live, there is no money to be had.

We can't save the world, but we can each save a life.

James and I sponsor a child through Compassion International. His name is Daniel, he is three, and he lives in Ecuador. He is the most precious child - a sweet innocent face and the darkest hair. I have never met this angel, but I feel love for him. Looking at his sweet face melts me. I know that my meager monthly contribution is helping him and his family, and that's perhaps why my heart is so tender for him.

Daniel spends his days among Compassion workers, most likely in a church, where he hears Bible stories, learns about Jesus and plays to his heart's content while his mother works. She is an only parent and his grandmother lives with them. Daniel's pastor and teacher have written to me on his behalf, and I long for the day when he will learn to read and write on his own. Having a connection with a child the same age as my youngest makes him so much more real to me. If there were a way for me to visit him in Ecuador, I'd be on the plane in a second. To snuggle that sweet baby boy would be as wonderful as scooping up and loving my own.

There are many more children in need of someone to care. It's not all about the financial gift you can give them, but the relationship. We don't always know which of our words are going to stick with someone, making an impression that we couldn't have foreseen. God willing, the letters that are read to Daniel, crafted by my hand, will sink into his heart and he will feel loved. I encourage you to learn more about Compassion and see if your heart is led to help.

About Compassion
Make a Donation (included are special projects for AIDS, Malaria, Disaster Relief, Medical Assistance and more)

Help a Child

Praying for children in need,

Gettin' Her Groove Back: 3/60

everybody else is doing it

No doubt that as a child you probably looked at your parents and whined, "but everybody else is doing it!" Often, it seemed like a compelling reason (to you, not them). We haven't lost that whine. That same phrase still lies within us. Ever heard of "keeping up with the Jones'?" Yeah, that's the "everybody's doing it" mentality. The trick is to funnel that whine into something good.

Courtesy
www.TogetherWeFlourish.com

My pastor presented a powerful sermon this morning challenging us to live the life that will get us to heaven. One of the tasks laid out for us is to be His witness. As Christians, we're to go into the world and share the plan of salvation. That's tough sometimes, but one positive step to getting there is to display Christ-like characteristics - put others before yourself:

• hold the door
• let someone with less items go ahead of you in line
• say "please," "thank you" and utilize other manners yo' mama taught you
• buy the homeless person on the corner a cup of coffee as you're getting one for yourself
• share whatever you have - money, food, etc. - with someone who has an obvious need

Why are self-less tasks like I've mentioned above so hard for some people to fulfill? Because they're not the normal things to do (anymore). They're kind, humble and personal ways to show you care, which is not what our society is about anymore. No one cares about anything. Actually, I take that back. People care about saving animals, global warming and other causes that aren't important for The Kingdom.

How is it possible that we've lost the "human element" and elevated animals above each other? I'm all for adopting pets instead of accessing puppy mills, but I'd much rather my money and real efforts be used to help those who don't have hope somehow find hope. Make tomorrow count for more than yourself and the next stray animal.

I say, let's start a revolution beginning with the small stuff. Let's look to those who curl their nose and ask why we're being so nice and tell them, "everybody else is doing it." And we should add to that, "and because it's the right thing to do." Doing the right things in life are the first steps to receiving a heavenly reward. When you begin to take care of others, the walls will fall and you'll be able to move on to the deeper conversation of salvation.

What will you do for someone in need this week?

Gettin' Her Groove Back: 2/60
On my mind for tomorrow: showing compassion

a new project. y'all ready?

Last year I created an account at the site http://365project.org/, a site where users can share a photo each day for 365 days. It's a creative outlet for amateurs and professionals alike. Wellll ... I have 47 entries with my last being in November.

My 365 Project photo for August 21, 2010 of my precious
niece who is still waiting on her baby blanket.

I have good intentions when I begin projects, it's the follow-through that gets me. For instance, I began knitting my newest niece a baby blanket in either late 2009 or early 2010. She was born this past August and I have yet to finish her blanket. It's almost done! Only a few more rows! But ... I laid it down and have not yet picked it back up.

Does it come from being held to high standards at work where it's not acceptable to not complete a task? Is it just laziness? Why can't I ever finish anything I start unless I'm being paid to? I'm not going to let the questions and negativity keep me down. I'm starting a new project (smirk).

This just might drive you crazy, especially when only God knows what the content will be, but I'm setting off on a journey that begins today. A blog post a day for ... 60 days. (Let's start small. Achievable goals are always better, and not just in weight loss.)

My reason for blogging each day? I'm always near a computer and love to write anyway (heck, I get paid to write). Why didn't the photo-a-day project work out? I was always on the hunt for the perfect photo, unable to settle for a simple snapshot. That hunt equals time, plus then sitting down to weed through my captures and upload "the one". Writing is definitely more of my forte than photography, although it's a love I will always have and pursue, just not on a calendar.

To help you keep count on this project, or in case you drop off the grid for a few days or plain ol' start ignoring me, I'll add a line at the bottom of the post below my signature, just as you see on this one. It's a momentous occasion! Pray for me!

Gettin' Her Groove Back: 1/60